I can't breathe out the right side of my face
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
