i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
How does one acquire holy water?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
