what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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