ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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