I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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