TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
