Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
