Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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