So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
