Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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