Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
