So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
