I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize