Just fell off a train. Bad.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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