Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
