whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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