I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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