I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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