hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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