five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
