Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
