I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
