apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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