Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
