So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
