how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
There's always time for handjobs
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
