My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
