he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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