Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
