We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
