Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize