I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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