Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
