Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
These tits shall not be calmed
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
