So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
