He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
accomplished twins. life is a go
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
