Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
