im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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