I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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