I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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