brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Enjoy the penises
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
