I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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