As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
