I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
