why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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