its not stalking. its research.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Couch. On fire.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
