It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
