i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You work out of a Hotel?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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