Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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