He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
