dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
