Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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