she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
