New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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