TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Can you bring me the toilet please
I love you. Go after that dick
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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