I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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