his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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