i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
