Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
nutella sex= disaster
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
