Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You pole danced in your parka.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
