I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
