The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My pussy is not your playground.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Randomize
