it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
