My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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