No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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