No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
