so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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