Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
