I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
someone get that fucking seahorse.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
