He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
