I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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