apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
