He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
3 2 1 whiskey
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
