I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
