At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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