FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize