yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I'm bleeding and have questions
tell me about the eggs
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
