ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
