He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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